Friday, February 20, 2009

It's so cliche... (Caution - poop story ahead)

We both found it classically clich̩ that no more than three days into Bali (ya know, an actual foreign land, not just America with an accent) Courtney is stuck in bed with the runs. All the while, old Iron Gut Jer is having no digestive problems whatsoever. Typical. Well, at least we had a very nice room to wage our belly battle in Рour very own actual sit-down toilet (versus a squat toilet) that flushes and everything! (As opposed to having no water hooked up to the toilet and having to pour a small bucket into the bowl after each use.) Luxury.

Give it 24 hours and Courtney's back on her feet, ready to brave the hassling hawkers and start hitting the food stalls once again. So out we go, making it back to the room just in time to avoid the TORRENTIAL downpour that lasted ALL night. Apparently I forgot to find some wood to knock on when I was teasing Courtney about being down and out yesterday and me being just fine, cuz guess what – it's my turn. But hey, let's not stop at just a wicked little case of the trots. Let's throw a little salt in the wound. Thanks to a magical combination of factors - it being the rainy season (see TORRENTIAL downpour reference above and repeat almost every night), the entire island of Bali having a gloriously inadequate drainage system, and our luxury accommodation having its water pump go out due to the storm – guess what... we have no water.

So now I have the pleasure of not being able to flush my green apple splatter. Joy. It goes something like this – stomach starts to gurgle, cheeks clench (Don't trust a fart!), run to the bathroom, engage, clean up, walk downstairs to room 2 where they have a hose drawn into the shower from the house next door and fill up our bucket, head back upstairs to “flush”. All the while hoping that during this trip to fill up the bucket the stomach doesn't start gurgling again.

I've never prayed for a George Morlan or Home Depot so hard in my life! Where's that new f'n water pump?!?!

Fortunately as with Courtney, my war with Bali Belly only lasted about a day and the new water pump made it in about a day and a half. Unfortunately, smaller battles were waged for several weeks. It really took getting out of Bali and into Singapore, with its high health standards and drinkable water, to get me right. Now we're in Malaysia, where bottled water will again reign and we'll be a little more careful with the local fare, tap water and whereabouts of the nearest WC – just to be safe.


Anonymous said...

OMG..."Bali Belly" horrific as I'm sure that experience was for you, I can't stop laughing at this post :-). Glad to hear you guys are having a great time otherwise.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your pains! But I was laughing as I read the whole saga! I will feel blessed when I use my toilet tonight!